General Info
Name: Emix Ai   Nickname: Ai or EmiBirthday: March 9th 1987Age:27Relation Status:Sexual Orientation: Pansexual
Specifics
P.O.E.: The Crochet CountessElement: YarnElement Description: She is able to manipulate and crochet yarn into dolls or use it stand alone in binding and weapons.Weapon: Yarn DollHomeWorld: The Arcade (Dance Dance Revolution)Theme Song!: youtu.be/zTIT54eIxZc Somebody: Emi Ai
Appearance
Gender: FemaleSpecies: HumanEye Color: BlueHair Color: Purple and TealHeight: 6ft evenWeight: 200lbs
Personal Info
Occupation: DancerEducation: DDR University Majoring in Jump KicksPersonality: She is well versed in electronic and classical mixed music, she is somewhat adorable with her sudden outbursts of “Yeah!” and “Do it!” She is very genki in all the things she does. She is very nerdy on the Japanese culture since she comes from a Japanese game and no, she doesn’t know Japanese, it took her long enough to figure out how to say English words without using a song. She had to find a program file to learn English so her words are a little scrambled.Positive Traits: (3 minimum)✖ Quirky✖ Creative✖ Musically InclinedNegative Traits: (3 minimum)✖ Obsessively Sings her Words✖ Randomly shouts words of encouragements. ✖ Breaks out into random dancing.
General Histories
Somebody History: She was a video game character in Dance Dance Revolution, never leaving her game for fear of the permanent death. Until one day the Candy King started ravaging Sugar Rush and in fleeing ran to hide something in her game. The thing was a virus called a Heartless and it slowly started to tear her game apart. The characters in her game had no way of communicating with the other games, not being programmed with a language and were unable to call for help. Before help could come though, Eli was attacked and met a different kind of permanent death.Nobody History: Waking up in the DDR game, Elix was unable to speak. She quickly decided it was time to get out of the poisoned game, leaving as quickly as she could. Once she was out she found a game called “Street Fighter.” She met many people in that game and they helped her find a voice file from an old glitched character that had met the permanent death. She is still new to learning how to use the voice box but she soon found out that the world was not what it seemed. Traveling she soon found out she was what is known as a Nobody and would need protection of her kind from the Keybladers that were constantly trying to give her the Permanent Death. She joined an organization who battled against the Queen of Hearts, earning her title as Queen once they’d defeated her. Now she co-runs their group with one of her best friends, finding nobodies and taking them to their new safe haven in Wonderland.
Optional Info
Talents: Making crochet dolls and dancing like a boss. Can’t sing though, it’s not good.Distinguishing Marks: Heart tattoo on her hipBiggest Fear: Permanent DeathOther: Likes herself some street fighter boys and girls.

General Info


Name: Emix Ai   
Nickname: Ai or Emi
Birthday: March 9th 1987
Age:27
Relation Status:
Sexual Orientation: Pansexual

Specifics


P.O.E.: The Crochet Countess
Element: Yarn
Element Description: She is able to manipulate and crochet yarn into dolls or use it stand alone in binding and weapons.
Weapon: Yarn Doll
HomeWorld: The Arcade (Dance Dance Revolution)
Theme Song!: youtu.be/zTIT54eIxZc 
Somebody: Emi Ai

Appearance


Gender: Female
Species: Human
Eye Color: Blue
Hair Color: Purple and Teal
Height: 6ft even
Weight: 200lbs

Personal Info


Occupation: Dancer
Education: DDR University Majoring in Jump Kicks
Personality: She is well versed in electronic and classical mixed music, she is somewhat adorable with her sudden outbursts of “Yeah!” and “Do it!” She is very genki in all the things she does. She is very nerdy on the Japanese culture since she comes from a Japanese game and no, she doesn’t know Japanese, it took her long enough to figure out how to say English words without using a song. She had to find a program file to learn English so her words are a little scrambled.

Positive Traits: (3 minimum)
✖ Quirky
✖ Creative
✖ Musically Inclined

Negative Traits: (3 minimum)
✖ Obsessively Sings her Words
✖ Randomly shouts words of encouragements. 
✖ Breaks out into random dancing.

General Histories


Somebody History: She was a video game character in Dance Dance Revolution, never leaving her game for fear of the permanent death. Until one day the Candy King started ravaging Sugar Rush and in fleeing ran to hide something in her game. The thing was a virus called a Heartless and it slowly started to tear her game apart. The characters in her game had no way of communicating with the other games, not being programmed with a language and were unable to call for help. Before help could come though, Eli was attacked and met a different kind of permanent death.
Nobody History: Waking up in the DDR game, Elix was unable to speak. She quickly decided it was time to get out of the poisoned game, leaving as quickly as she could. Once she was out she found a game called “Street Fighter.” She met many people in that game and they helped her find a voice file from an old glitched character that had met the permanent death. She is still new to learning how to use the voice box but she soon found out that the world was not what it seemed. Traveling she soon found out she was what is known as a Nobody and would need protection of her kind from the Keybladers that were constantly trying to give her the Permanent Death. She joined an organization who battled against the Queen of Hearts, earning her title as Queen once they’d defeated her. Now she co-runs their group with one of her best friends, finding nobodies and taking them to their new safe haven in Wonderland.


Optional Info



Talents: Making crochet dolls and dancing like a boss. Can’t sing though, it’s not good.
Distinguishing Marks: Heart tattoo on her hip
Biggest Fear: Permanent Death
Other: Likes herself some street fighter boys and girls.

posted 5 days ago @ 15 Oct 2014 with 2 notes
xMary Sue xNobody xOrganization XIII xwhat the fuck xfuck canon xillogical powers xsubmission
OC: Xin by herdergirl
Reference sheet for Xin. She’s the “younger sister” of Xaidran and Xean and part of the Melody Trio. She’s skilled in shadow magic and wields a dual-bladed scythe.
I can’t imagine nobodies being able to reproduce. Let alone expel a Marluxia wannabe. How did she gain control of shadows? You aren’t Xehenort or someone with a seemingly innate tether to darkness, nor has Maleficent claimed you in the name of ‘lulz’ so go back 3 spaces.

Like most, her heart was very unpredictable, which has put her into a weird and unstable state.
"Like most people" Then why isn’t everyone else ever like your Marly wannabe? Because it goes against canon. Think first. Yes, hearts are unpredictable but what makes hers so unstable? Why is she a speshul snowflake? Justify why this is. Or I’m going to have to call bullshit.
She is currently a Nobody and part of Organization XIII, as Org #XV, and on a special squad with Xaidran and Xean.
Canon destruction so a wannabe Marly can get into Organization XII.
Her memories before the age of 12 are completely scrambled and missing, and she lacks knowledge of the worlds around her(hence her codename: innocent).
Amensia is a shitty plot device. How is she innocent? Hardly anyone knows of other worlds. Oregenil cherekta donut steel!!111!!one!!!
She has a poor self image(wanting to be tough and strong but being small and delicate), she’s quiet, angered easily, bored very often, has a passion for fighting, but deep down an okay person. Not very friendly, but easy to get along with.
This has  “I downloaded my fighting abilities from thepiratebay.se ” all over it. Furthermore your personality is a logic fuck, you’re saying she’s all of these things at the same time. You haven’t stated that it is situational.

—-
~Credits~ 


Base: Xion base by ~kazuki9484 and copyright Square Enix 
Hair: Yuno’s hair from MMD Hair Pack DL by ElviraMoa and also #2 in Medium Length Hairstyles by Ina-Haru
Come on guys who let Marluxia set a tampon on fire.
Guess what, I found this little gem;
Ask Reply #3 by herdergirl
She hates Marluxia. Who she blatantly rips off.Let me know which way logic left so I can start the long journey of tracking it down and finding in drunk and in an emotional wreck.
-Charms
posted 6 days ago @ 15 Oct 2014 with 2 notes
xThis is Charms xillogical powers xfuck canon xwhat the fuck xno just no
(i hope im not bothering you guys too much, but this is my first kingdom hearts OC and i was wondering if i could had some critique so i can better him)
Name: Kai Francis

The name’s a good start it’s not straight up Japanese or the mangling of a normal name. Is there any reason why you’ve settled on Kai? It’s a bit mismatched from the last name so I would suggest looking into some European based names and maybe finding one that could have the nickname of Kai (if you’re bent on keeping the name).

Weapon(s):
wooden broomstick (previously)
novanoids (enchanted glass orbs filled with elementaly charmed concoctions)

Why did you include the broomstick if Kai is no longer using it? The novanoids are something I haven’t seen. It seems very interesting, has Kai been around magic and learned some synthesis to create these?

Weapon Usage:
Novanoids are little enchanted glass balls that were created by Kai to help ongoing travelers and townsfolk in his world.  the orbs were filled with a handmade serum made of different and magical ingredients found all over his world. when thrown, the orb will break, which will  than release the magic. creating an effect that is much akin to spell casting. despite their great potential, he continued to use and make them for everyday use. it was only when the heartless began appearing and attacking his home that he pulled them into action. he now carries them in a shoulder satchel for easy access.

I will say this, it does explain some usage of them but it then rolls of into a bit of Kai’s past. I would also touch more on some of the technical aspects of the Novanoids. From what I gather it seems like they are conduits for magic. Which isn’t bad, but without full clarification it can become a tad bit confusing. As far as weapon usage you only need to really explain what they are, and how they work. I would include how they came to be in a bio section of some type.

World Of Origin/Home-world:
starlight corner 
a world where magic is in the air (literally). the town is always lively and the streets always full. the world is known best for their fascination with astronomy and alchemy. 

This world is a created one? It sounds interesting. This also leads me to believe that Kai is going to be used in some type of story.

Age (The one they appear)
19

 Not a bad age, but I would consider making him a bit older since it seems he knows the ins and outs of alchemy and magic. It takes time to learn these as well as to create things from them.

Physical Description: 
tall and lean with a pale and slightly feminine complexion. His hair is a fade from reddish brown to bleach blonde. his nose sticks out slightly in a button and his eyebrows while quite dark are very thin.  His eyes are a blue-green, a very similar colour to the miniature Novanoid on his earing.

 Good description, however I do want to point out on the clothing he’s wearing. It’s very modern. Even for a created world the clothes need to have some type of Fantasy aspect. I would consider adding more buckles or zippers as well as incorporating the colors of the Novanoid earring in elsewhere.

Height:
5’9½
Weight:
146 lb
Personality: 
Kai is a man who just can’t stop thinking and often has trouble not speaking his mind right away. He may come off as childish and slightly rude because of this trait. He has a habit of making conversations longer than they should be but can catch himself before he dabbles TOO long…usually. He is a very direct person and never shies away from an opportunity to help someone in need. When in battle he can panic a bit at first, which may lead to his inept ability of accidentally dropping the novanoids in the worst place possible, however he can quickly recover and go on with the fight. While he has a hard time paying attention sometimes, he always manages to bring his focus back and listen to his master’s instructions and lessons.  He is generally just a cheerful bundle.

This jumps around a bit so I would suggest just going over it with a fine tooth comb and reordering it a bit.  Something like this may flow better:Kai is often one to get lost in his own thoughts and it tends to take him a bit to speak up. He is one to easily get distracted, when he does speak he sometimes prattles on, unintentionally. He also has been known to become distracted at his lessons but after a bit he ends up snapping back into reality. After a bit he usually is able to realize his actions and get back on to the matter at hand. His actions also make him seem to come off rude and somewhat childish. Kai is the type of person who always loves to help others when he can. He gives off the impression of a cheerful boy. In battle Kai tends to panic a bit, which on some occasions can cause him to accidentally drop novanoids and cause some issues. However he is able to “fix” the issue quickly so that he can return to the task at hand.I would also consider making him a bit clumsy or have him be the type to daydream.

Gender:
male
 
Orientation:
asexual
 
Past History/Bio:
Kai was born into a family with little to no wealth. Often times he would go a night or two left alone in the house as his parents worked to scrape up even the tiniest amount of income so they could survive. Life grew hard and soon , at the tender age of 10,  he was taken away from home and placed in better environment. He was moved to a home with “new parents” who he wasn’t really that fond of. He’d of much rather stayed with his birth family, but understood their reasons. His foster parents tried their best to appease him and treat him with all the love and care they could give. He slowly grew to see them as family after years and years . One summer he was introduced to the families black sheep. His foster uncle, Rocardin Francis, who he would later become an apprentice to in the ways of sorcery and enchantment. He would soon grow a fascination with the stars and the magic they held. He wanted nothing more than to hold starlight in his hands to feel the light they give off. It became his goal to capture starlight and introduce the magic into his Novanoids. 
 
The day the heartless appeared he had been left to work in his master’s shop of enchantments. He was made to do chores often to keep up his discipline. He was terrified as the black creatures would catch up to him and would swat aimlessly at them with his broom until he found shelter. One day he was not so lucky and ended up being cornered in the alleyway with nothing but some spare Novanoids that he had planned to sell later that day. But for a split moment he forgot he was afraid by looking up to the stars and stood up to defend himself. He learned after throwing the orbs near the creatures, that depending on the creature, certain orbs could damage them. He had found a way to protect himself and others against the heartless and continued to use the Novanoids in battle standing side-by-side with his teacher. He continues to fight and search for the starlight he once dreamed of holding.


 This is good overall, however like his personality it could use some work. What gave him the fascination with stars? How did the novanoids come to be? When did he meet Rocardin (age) and how long did his study with him? Was he a good student?

Current Bio:
He had found a way to protect himself and others against the heartless and continued to use the Novanoids in battle standing side-by-side with his teacher. He continues to fight and search for the starlight he once dreamed of holding. 
 
Theme Song:
shooting star - owl city
 
Statistics/Stats:
Hp: 18/20
Mp: 20/20
Atk: 8/20
Def: 19/20
Spd: 14/20
Dex: 20/20
Str: 5/20
Stm: 5/20
Weapon Control:10 /10

I’m glad to see stats, and ones that are well balanced at that. However I would perhaps make the weapon control a bit lower (since he sometimes drops his weapon in battle or say he’s clumsy).

Overall this is very good for a first OC, he could use some work. Most of it seems to be just going over everything with a fine tooth comb and adding and removing some details. Is he for any sort of group? (I usually don’t see stats outside of them.) I also give you props on the Novanoids, since as a weapon it’s different but even with what I have it seems to be well done. I would also consider touching on why he’s from this world and re-working his outfit to have more of a Kingdom Hearts feel to it.  
-Vivi

(i hope im not bothering you guys too much, but this is my first kingdom hearts OC and i was wondering if i could had some critique so i can better him)

Name: Kai Francis

The name’s a good start it’s not straight up Japanese or the mangling of a normal name. Is there any reason why you’ve settled on Kai? It’s a bit mismatched from the last name so I would suggest looking into some European based names and maybe finding one that could have the nickname of Kai (if you’re bent on keeping the name).

Weapon(s):

wooden broomstick (previously)

novanoids (enchanted glass orbs filled with elementaly charmed concoctions)

Why did you include the broomstick if Kai is no longer using it? The novanoids are something I haven’t seen. It seems very interesting, has Kai been around magic and learned some synthesis to create these?

Weapon Usage:

Novanoids are little enchanted glass balls that were created by Kai to help ongoing travelers and townsfolk in his world.  the orbs were filled with a handmade serum made of different and magical ingredients found all over his world. when thrown, the orb will break, which will  than release the magic. creating an effect that is much akin to spell casting. despite their great potential, he continued to use and make them for everyday use. it was only when the heartless began appearing and attacking his home that he pulled them into action. he now carries them in a shoulder satchel for easy access.

I will say this, it does explain some usage of them but it then rolls of into a bit of Kai’s past. I would also touch more on some of the technical aspects of the Novanoids. From what I gather it seems like they are conduits for magic. Which isn’t bad, but without full clarification it can become a tad bit confusing.
As far as weapon usage you only need to really explain what they are, and how they work. I would include how they came to be in a bio section of some type.

World Of Origin/Home-world:

starlight corner

a world where magic is in the air (literally). the town is always lively and the streets always full. the world is known best for their fascination with astronomy and alchemy.

This world is a created one? It sounds interesting. This also leads me to believe that Kai is going to be used in some type of story.

Age (The one they appear)

19

 Not a bad age, but I would consider making him a bit older since it seems he knows the ins and outs of alchemy and magic. It takes time to learn these as well as to create things from them.

Physical Description:

tall and lean with a pale and slightly feminine complexion. His hair is a fade from reddish brown to bleach blonde. his nose sticks out slightly in a button and his eyebrows while quite dark are very thin.  His eyes are a blue-green, a very similar colour to the miniature Novanoid on his earing.

 Good description, however I do want to point out on the clothing he’s wearing. It’s very modern. Even for a created world the clothes need to have some type of Fantasy aspect. I would consider adding more buckles or zippers as well as incorporating the colors of the Novanoid earring in elsewhere.

Height:

5’9½

Weight:

146 lb

Personality:

Kai is a man who just can’t stop thinking and often has trouble not speaking his mind right away. He may come off as childish and slightly rude because of this trait. He has a habit of making conversations longer than they should be but can catch himself before he dabbles TOO long…usually. He is a very direct person and never shies away from an opportunity to help someone in need. When in battle he can panic a bit at first, which may lead to his inept ability of accidentally dropping the novanoids in the worst place possible, however he can quickly recover and go on with the fight. While he has a hard time paying attention sometimes, he always manages to bring his focus back and listen to his master’s instructions and lessons.  He is generally just a cheerful bundle.

This jumps around a bit so I would suggest just going over it with a fine tooth comb and reordering it a bit.  
Something like this may flow better:
Kai is often one to get lost in his own thoughts and it tends to take him a bit to speak up. He is one to easily get distracted, when he does speak he sometimes prattles on, unintentionally. He also has been known to become distracted at his lessons but after a bit he ends up snapping back into reality. After a bit he usually is able to realize his actions and get back on to the matter at hand. His actions also make him seem to come off rude and somewhat childish. Kai is the type of person who always loves to help others when he can. He gives off the impression of a cheerful boy. In battle Kai tends to panic a bit, which on some occasions can cause him to accidentally drop novanoids and cause some issues. However he is able to “fix” the issue quickly so that he can return to the task at hand.

I would also consider making him a bit clumsy or have him be the type to daydream.

Gender:

male

 

Orientation:

asexual

 

Past History/Bio:

Kai was born into a family with little to no wealth. Often times he would go a night or two left alone in the house as his parents worked to scrape up even the tiniest amount of income so they could survive. Life grew hard and soon , at the tender age of 10,  he was taken away from home and placed in better environment. He was moved to a home with “new parents” who he wasn’t really that fond of. He’d of much rather stayed with his birth family, but understood their reasons. His foster parents tried their best to appease him and treat him with all the love and care they could give. He slowly grew to see them as family after years and years . One summer he was introduced to the families black sheep. His foster uncle, Rocardin Francis, who he would later become an apprentice to in the ways of sorcery and enchantment. He would soon grow a fascination with the stars and the magic they held. He wanted nothing more than to hold starlight in his hands to feel the light they give off. It became his goal to capture starlight and introduce the magic into his Novanoids.

 

The day the heartless appeared he had been left to work in his master’s shop of enchantments. He was made to do chores often to keep up his discipline. He was terrified as the black creatures would catch up to him and would swat aimlessly at them with his broom until he found shelter. One day he was not so lucky and ended up being cornered in the alleyway with nothing but some spare Novanoids that he had planned to sell later that day. But for a split moment he forgot he was afraid by looking up to the stars and stood up to defend himself. He learned after throwing the orbs near the creatures, that depending on the creature, certain orbs could damage them. He had found a way to protect himself and others against the heartless and continued to use the Novanoids in battle standing side-by-side with his teacher. He continues to fight and search for the starlight he once dreamed of holding.

 This is good overall, however like his personality it could use some work. What gave him the fascination with stars? How did the novanoids come to be? When did he meet Rocardin (age) and how long did his study with him? Was he a good student?

Current Bio:

He had found a way to protect himself and others against the heartless and continued to use the Novanoids in battle standing side-by-side with his teacher. He continues to fight and search for the starlight he once dreamed of holding.

 

Theme Song:

shooting star - owl city

 

Statistics/Stats:

Hp: 18/20

Mp: 20/20

Atk: 8/20

Def: 19/20

Spd: 14/20

Dex: 20/20

Str: 5/20

Stm: 5/20

Weapon Control:10 /10

I’m glad to see stats, and ones that are well balanced at that. However I would perhaps make the weapon control a bit lower (since he sometimes drops his weapon in battle or say he’s clumsy).

Overall this is very good for a first OC, he could use some work. Most of it seems to be just going over everything with a fine tooth comb and adding and removing some details. Is he for any sort of group? (I usually don’t see stats outside of them.) I also give you props on the Novanoids, since as a weapon it’s different but even with what I have it seems to be well done. I would also consider touching on why he’s from this world and re-working his outfit to have more of a Kingdom Hearts feel to it.  

-Vivi

posted 6 days ago @ 14 Oct 2014 with 3 notes
xcritique xsubmission xThis is Vivi

REAL Name: Xella
NickName: Ella

Her Name that she tells Everyone: Samantha. 
NickName: Sami

Her Nobody’s Name: Nyah 

Real Age: 17
(She has powers that can make 4 years younger. Interesting, right? :))

Birthday: February 14th

Where she was from: The Realm of Darkness
Born at: The Realm of Darkness but was raised at Destiny Islands

Gender: Female

Sexual Orientation: Unknown

Current Residence: Destiny Islands

Father: ????? ???????? (Wink/Razz )

Sibling(s): Skylar 

Best Friends(it’s in order ^^;): Cypress, Akemi, Marina, Styler, Akio, Sora, Roxas, Xion, Ventus

Friends: Kairi, Riku, Terra, Aqua, Ariella, Lea, and Isa

Enemies: Zhane and her father

Crush(es): Unknown

Love Interests: None

Likes: Sea Salt Ice cream, being mysterious, Paopu fruit, to stay quiet

Dislikes: Anything that her father despises

Fears: Has none

Personality: Strong-willed, mysterious, quiet, weird and shy, out-going, peaceful, barely caring

Appearance: She looks the same as always ^^;

REAL Eye Color: Yellow
(“Hey Sami, I thought her eye color was blue.”) Her powers again ^^

Hair Color: Just look at the model, cuz idk what the color is ^^;

Weapon: Keyblade

posted 6 days ago @ 14 Oct 2014 with 1 note
xMary Sue xkeyblade xNobody xfuck canon xillogical powers xsubmission

Greetings everyone! One of the new admins here!

I’ve been a KH fan for a long time, so I know the games and lore very well.

As for a name, I am Pixel.

posted 6 days ago @ 14 Oct 2014
xthis is pixel
//Casually Slides in//
Hello there all, I'm one of the new admins and you guys can just call me Vivi.
I'll be using my fandom knowledge and the canon for my critiques.
You guys can find my first critique right here: /post/99525702386
posted 1 week ago @ 11 Oct 2014
xThis is Vivi

Name: Viola
Nickname: Vi or little flower ( her dad give that nickname for her)
Age: 13
Keyblade: the moon keyblade

*facepalms into oblivion* Can you tell me why or how she obtained this? Who her master is? Why isn’t canon aware of her? How she’s important to the ultimate goal of the Kingdom Hearts plot? No. No you can’t. Because you’re trying to bullshit your way to victory. You’re not Phoenix Wright, this isn’t going to fly.


where she live: in destiny island
Family: her father and her friend Ellen 
Fiends: Kiana,Namine,Riku,Styler,Ventus,Vanitas,Xion,Zorax,Yuki etc….

This is either very very high idealism and complete flouting of the canon structure or a deluded fantasy that her crumbling mind has concocted.


Her enemys: Kairi 

Enemies spelt completely wrong is exemplifying her inner and intense hatred for a fictional character. Also back up Miss Honey weave, you are friends with her nobody? Logic, where do you find it.


Boyfriend: Sora Tsuna Heart 

Of course. Of bloodly course. Kairi replacement with added angst gets to hold hands with Sora. How original.


Viola lost her mother since her birth,Ellen stolen her body ( who player witch house know) but Viola come back to your revenge,but she forgive Ellen,Viola meet Sora after she moved to destiny island,Viola began to have a very strong feeling for Sora,Viola meet so much friends and one enemy: KAIRI!!

So your mother forfeited her own life so you could exist and don’t give a single toss about it? Doo doo doo doot do do then we get a sentence fragment followed by a poor attempt at a plot device. She came back? Where’d she go? Is she playing Where’s Wolly with the readers?  WAIT, HOW IN THE NAME OF ANSEM SEEKER OF L-OREAL DARKNESS did she world hop. Then she suddenly kicks Kairi out of her role as Sora’s love interest and has to take the back burner. Wouldn’t Riku, oh I don’t know, slap some logic into his brain. His IQ isn’t that of tinfoil, he would not by any means give Kairi the shaft for your clusterfuck of undeveloped, poorly conceived ideas.

posted 1 week ago @ 10 Oct 2014 with 3 notes
xMary Sue xKeyblade Master xkeyblade xfuck canon xillogical powers xsubmission xThis is Charms xCharms annotates
Bio
Full name : Fenrir

This is not Norse mythology, nor are you the Trickster god’s son.

Age : 18 (immortal)

So you’re an immortal 18 year old? You’d age number wise, even in the KH verse. So perhaps physically 18 better to go with.

Species : Demi-God

Alright, plausible (brownie points for not being a god)

Gender : Male
Born at : Olympus Colliseum
Lives at : Where ever he wants

So you mean he’s a nomad. Of worlds. Without explanation or him having a gummi ship he can’t actually leave Olympus Coliseum.

Life Story
Fenrir is the son of the god of the Underworld Hades and his wife Persephone. When he was 18, he tried to sneak into the Olymp and cause chaos, he was, however, caught by the father of the god Zeus. Zeus cursed him with an immortal life, which Fenrir first gladly accepted. But Zeus also took all his emotions and feelings from him and thus making Fenrirs immortal life to living hell for him. 100 years later, Fenrir offered Zeus a deal. He would fight a champion chosen by Zeus. If he was lose the fight, he’d go to Tartarus, the deepest depth of the Underworld where terrifying creatures are kept. But if he was to win, he’d get all his emotions back. Zeus agreed with one condition though: If he gets back his emotions, he will be mortal again and Zeus will hunt him. Fenrir accepted. He fought Herkules and he won. But Zeus tricked him. Fenrir will get his emotions back once he finds true love and happiness, and then, when he is happy with his girlfriend/wife he will be mortal and Zeus will hunt him down.

HOLD THE PHONE.His lineage can’t work like that, even in other circumstances. Not to even mention that Persephone doesn’t even exist in the KH series. Persephone never had children, not with Hades at least. Plus i’m pretty sure even if that did happen Fenrir wouldn’t look normal. If his father was Zeus it could be possible (because you know most of the chaos in Greek mythology was caused by Zeus not being able to keep it in his pants). I also think that you can’t “take” someone’s emotions. Hercules was pretty much the STRONGEST in Olympus, Fenrir a: has no fighting experience whatsoever according to this bio and b: at 18 he still wouldn’t even be weathered enough to even stand a chance.

Familie and Friends
Parents : Hades and Persephone
Siblings : plenty because gods aren’t very faithful to their realationship xD
Best friends : none
Friends : Zack, Auron, Terra

Dare they to go here? Yes.Fenrir would most likely only have run into Auron at best, but having canon characters as friends is a bit of a no-no.Zack and Terra are highly unlikely to have befriended Fenrir. Auron would most likely be an acquaintance, as in Fenri and him could have some small talk every once in a while. If that, but for the most part I think Fenrir would be a loner or know other Olympus Coliseum OC’s.

Dislikes : Zeus, Herkules
Crush : no one … but hopefully he will have a girlfriend ^^

If it was a canon character it would have taken everything in me not to hit someone.

Kingdom Hearts Information
Affiliation: he doesn’t really care xD

We call that being neutral. 

Weapon : His sword

Broadsword, Greatsword, Chickensword… A bit more of a description may help.

Shadow and Fire magic

I don’t even know if non-heartless/nobodies can even use Shadow magic without any affinity to darkness.But I’m going to make the logical guess of you can’t.

Shapeshifter → Wolf


Silly me, thinking I was going to make it through this without losing it. You can’t shapeshift. Into a wolf. This is Kingdom Hearts, not Twilight. Plus you’re Hades son. So maybe like slight ability to be able to decay things. But not shapeshifting.

About him/her
Personality :
Void of any emotions
used to be troublesome
used to be mischevious
used to be a major flirt
he has a green thumb due his mothers powers

TL;DR: Marluxia but with less pink, more flesh and black.
Also Persephone didn’t actually have any powers, she was just good at it.

Likes :
Fighting
Work with plants

Doesn’t sound like a certain pink haired Organization member at all.

Dislikes :
The gods aside from his mother and Father
Herkules

So he’s pretty much got the whole me against the world thing going on? Subtle and totally not overused.

-Hobbies :
Fighting
Reading
Working in a garden


Where did reading come from? With all the other things Fenrir seems to be caught up in I doubt he cared about his education or his ability to read. Not to mention that reading and fighting directly contradict each other because nothing says trouble maker like a guy who reads after beating the crap out of someone who gave him a sideways glance.Sounds more like slapping traits on the table so you can put something down. 

-Fears :
nothing since he is not able to feel anything at all aside from true love

Everyone fears something, he can’t “fear” nothing. The most logical one for this would be fearing he didn’t find true love.

-Ambition/Long-Life Dream :
Find his true love and break the curse

So in a nutshell the basic plot of Sleeping Beauty without the sleeping part.

First things first: Spellcheck. Befriend it. Fenrir here could use some work. He’s not beyond saving but it’s not the best either. There’s some problems. Easiest way to start would be to read up on your Kingdom Hearts and your Greek Mythology and Culture.His outfit and look do not even come close to fitting in with the world. He’d have a Greek-Esque style even if he did travel. He wouldn’t just suddenly wear modern clothes. They’d be foreign and uncomfortable to him.  However, I do give you minor brownie points for using MMD fairly well. And the fact that he doesn’t scream Sora (I’m assuming you used the Sora Model as a base) or whatever character you used as a base. As well as the clothing looks fairly proportionate. However I would lose the overlay effect there, it’s pretty distracting.(Also feel free to post it, and I hope the Gifs are okay.)

Bio

Full name : Fenrir

This is not Norse mythology, nor are you the Trickster god’s son.

Age : 18 (immortal)

So you’re an immortal 18 year old? You’d age number wise, even in the KH verse. So perhaps physically 18 better to go with.

Species : Demi-God

Alright, plausible (brownie points for not being a god)

Gender : Male

Born at : Olympus Colliseum

Lives at : Where ever he wants

So you mean he’s a nomad. Of worlds. Without explanation or him having a gummi ship he can’t actually leave Olympus Coliseum.

Life Story

Fenrir is the son of the god of the Underworld Hades and his wife Persephone. When he was 18, he tried to sneak into the Olymp and cause chaos, he was, however, caught by the father of the god Zeus. Zeus cursed him with an immortal life, which Fenrir first gladly accepted. But Zeus also took all his emotions and feelings from him and thus making Fenrirs immortal life to living hell for him. 100 years later, Fenrir offered Zeus a deal. He would fight a champion chosen by Zeus. If he was lose the fight, he’d go to Tartarus, the deepest depth of the Underworld where terrifying creatures are kept. But if he was to win, he’d get all his emotions back. Zeus agreed with one condition though: If he gets back his emotions, he will be mortal again and Zeus will hunt him. Fenrir accepted. He fought Herkules and he won. But Zeus tricked him. Fenrir will get his emotions back once he finds true love and happiness, and then, when he is happy with his girlfriend/wife he will be mortal and Zeus will hunt him down.

HOLD THE PHONE.
His lineage can’t work like that, even in other circumstances. Not to even mention that Persephone doesn’t even exist in the KH series. Persephone never had children, not with Hades at least. Plus i’m pretty sure even if that did happen Fenrir wouldn’t look normal. If his father was Zeus it could be possible (because you know most of the chaos in Greek mythology was caused by Zeus not being able to keep it in his pants). I also think that you can’t “take” someone’s emotions. 


Hercules was pretty much the STRONGEST in Olympus, Fenrir a: has no fighting experience whatsoever according to this bio and b: at 18 he still wouldn’t even be weathered enough to even stand a chance.

Familie and Friends

Parents : Hades and Persephone

Siblings : plenty because gods aren’t very faithful to their realationship xD

Best friends : none

Friends : Zack, Auron, Terra



Dare they to go here? Yes.
Fenrir would most likely only have run into Auron at best, but having canon characters as friends is a bit of a no-no.
Zack and Terra are highly unlikely to have befriended Fenrir. Auron would most likely be an acquaintance, as in Fenri and him could have some small talk every once in a while. If that, but for the most part I think Fenrir would be a loner or know other Olympus Coliseum OC’s.

Dislikes : Zeus, Herkules

Crush : no one … but hopefully he will have a girlfriend ^^

If it was a canon character it would have taken everything in me not to hit someone.

Kingdom Hearts Information

Affiliation: he doesn’t really care xD

We call that being neutral. 

Weapon : His sword

Broadsword, Greatsword, Chickensword… 
A bit more of a description may help.

Shadow and Fire magic

I don’t even know if non-heartless/nobodies can even use Shadow magic without any affinity to darkness.
But I’m going to make the logical guess of you can’t.

Shapeshifter → Wolf

Silly me, thinking I was going to make it through this without losing it. You can’t shapeshift. Into a wolf. This is Kingdom Hearts, not Twilight. 
Plus you’re Hades son. So maybe like slight ability to be able to decay things. But not shapeshifting.

About him/her

Personality :

Void of any emotions

used to be troublesome

used to be mischevious

used to be a major flirt

he has a green thumb due his mothers powers

TL;DR: Marluxia but with less pink, more flesh and black.

Also Persephone didn’t actually have any powers, she was just good at it.

Likes :

Fighting

Work with plants

Doesn’t sound like a certain pink haired Organization member at all.

Dislikes :

The gods aside from his mother and Father

Herkules

So he’s pretty much got the whole me against the world thing going on? Subtle and totally not overused.

-Hobbies :

Fighting

Reading

Working in a garden

Where did reading come from? With all the other things Fenrir seems to be caught up in I doubt he cared about his education or his ability to read. Not to mention that reading and fighting directly contradict each other because nothing says trouble maker like a guy who reads after beating the crap out of someone who gave him a sideways glance.
Sounds more like slapping traits on the table so you can put something down. 

-Fears :

nothing since he is not able to feel anything at all aside from true love

Everyone fears something, he can’t “fear” nothing. The most logical one for this would be fearing he didn’t find true love.

-Ambition/Long-Life Dream :

Find his true love and break the curse

So in a nutshell the basic plot of Sleeping Beauty without the sleeping part.

First things first: 
Spellcheck. Befriend it. 

Fenrir here could use some work. He’s not beyond saving but it’s not the best either. There’s some problems. Easiest way to start would be to read up on your Kingdom Hearts and your Greek Mythology and Culture.

His outfit and look do not even come close to fitting in with the world. He’d have a Greek-Esque style even if he did travel. He wouldn’t just suddenly wear modern clothes. They’d be foreign and uncomfortable to him.  

However, I do give you minor brownie points for using MMD fairly well. And the fact that he doesn’t scream Sora (I’m assuming you used the Sora Model as a base) or whatever character you used as a base. As well as the clothing looks fairly proportionate. However I would lose the overlay effect there, it’s pretty distracting.

(Also feel free to post it, and I hope the Gifs are okay.)

posted 1 week ago @ 08 Oct 2014 with 4 notes
xcritique xillogical powers xsubmission

Look! An edgy, tattooed neko!

Character Name: Sarith ShornAge: 21Gender: FemaleWeapon: Neko-te

Please elaborate on what that is.

Short Bio: Born to the one that was prophesized to destroy everything, Sarith had a lot of heroes trying to kill her mom, destroying the castle, whatnot. Finally, she got tired of her stuff being stolen and started adventuring to try and regain some of the stuff she lost. She has no idea how she came across The World That Never Was, but she figured there can be some interesting things happening here.

World travel is nigh impossible. Please try again. 
And please explain this prophecy and how she’s supposed to “destroy everything?”

Anything Else?: She is half cat because her dad is a snow leopard. Yes, her family tree is weird.

What the actual fuck
-MK

Look! An edgy, tattooed neko!

Character Name: Sarith Shorn
Age: 21
Gender: Female
Weapon: Neko-te

Please elaborate on what that is.

Short Bio: Born to the one that was prophesized to destroy everything, Sarith had a lot of heroes trying to kill her mom, destroying the castle, whatnot. Finally, she got tired of her stuff being stolen and started adventuring to try and regain some of the stuff she lost. She has no idea how she came across The World That Never Was, but she figured there can be some interesting things happening here.

World travel is nigh impossible. Please try again.

And please explain this prophecy and how she’s supposed to “destroy everything?”

Anything Else?: She is half cat because her dad is a snow leopard. Yes, her family tree is weird.

What the actual fuck

-MK

posted 1 week ago @ 07 Oct 2014 with 2 notes
xkingdom hearts xmary sue xneko xwhat the fuck xthis is mk
Character Name: Lance CallenAge: 16Gender: MaleWeapon: Can analyze other peoples weapons and use versions fo them himself. (How it happens exactly is a secret for now! x3) His personal weapon is a ketblade. The gray key is white instead and the gold part of the handle thing is black. This keyblade becomes different versions of his opponents weapons in a way that allows him to combat them easier. 

More Keyblade copies. I feel like this is becoming a trope.

Short Bio: Lance can’t remember much of his past. He remembers running from his home and waking in a strange place. He also had this strange key-thing. He doesn’t know that he is a natural keyblade weilder. Something has warped his power however.

Amnesia! Oh, and he can ACTUALLY wield a real Keyblade! BUT HE’S BEEN COMPROMISED! 

Anything Else?: Lance’s strange power results from a secret event in his life. Something he still can’t remember.

Meaning, you can’t think of anything so you’re just going to go with the flow.
-MK

Character Name: Lance Callen
Age: 16
Gender: Male
Weapon: Can analyze other peoples weapons and use versions fo them himself. (How it happens exactly is a secret for now! x3) His personal weapon is a ketblade. The gray key is white instead and the gold part of the handle thing is black. This keyblade becomes different versions of his opponents weapons in a way that allows him to combat them easier. 

More Keyblade copies. I feel like this is becoming a trope.

Short Bio: Lance can’t remember much of his past. He remembers running from his home and waking in a strange place. He also had this strange key-thing. He doesn’t know that he is a natural keyblade weilder. Something has warped his power however.

Amnesia! Oh, and he can ACTUALLY wield a real Keyblade! BUT HE’S BEEN COMPROMISED! 

Anything Else?: Lance’s strange power results from a secret event in his life. Something he still can’t remember.

Meaning, you can’t think of anything so you’re just going to go with the flow.

-MK

posted 1 week ago @ 07 Oct 2014 with 1 note
xkingdom hearts xgary stu xkeyblade xamnesia xthis is mk

fixyourkhsues:

We’ve been slow. We’ve been busy. If you want to join us help keep our blog active, you have a chance! The sidebar has a link you can check out~!

Thanks, guys!

-MK

reblogged 1 week ago @ 07 Oct 2014 with 3 notes via/source
xMK makes an announcement

Some news on a new Birth by Sleep game! FINALLY! And it looks like it’ll be Aqua-centric. 

posted 1 week ago @ 07 Oct 2014 with 9 notes
xkingdom hearts xaqua xbirth by sleep xkh xmk makes an announcement

I’m a new admin.

I’m pretty cynical and I have this need to rip characters apart when I feel they are going against certain things.My first critique is right here!

I look forward to helping out around the blog.

Warning: I may make you feel like you belong in Super Weenie hut juniors.

posted 2 weeks ago @ 05 Oct 2014 with 2 notes
xthis is Charms

(Hey it’s me from before, I was the one with the nobody. I reworked him and also scrapped his history entirely. And since I don’t know if MK will get this again I just would like to note that he’s used in an AU RP group with other nobodies so hence the fact that he’s a nobody.)

Name:
Demitri

Nicknames:
‘Mitri
Proof Of Existence:
Still in the works since nothing comes to mind.

Rank:
Second in Command
Element:

Glass
Element Description/Use:

Glass is able to be used in both offensive and defensive ways of fighting however Demitri prefers to use it in a defensive manner. He uses it both as a shield and a method of hiding, he manipulates it to alter his enemies view of him and attack when they are focused more on looking for him. When he’s fighting offensively he often shatters the glass and throws it at his enemies. One of his favored techniques is to use a fire spell to heat the glass, form it into a sharp point at the front and throw it at them. When not in a fight he can be found creating glass sculptures or seeking new ways for him to use his element productively.

Honestly, I did like the Astral Projection thing (which I realized in hindsight I failed to mention) but this glass thing is really neat, too! I like how you come up with creative abilities and not things like “Controls fire” and “Controls pure DARKNESS!!” like I’ve seen a lot. And it’s not something way to OP. 

Weapon:
Blade-Staff, “Equilibrium”
Weapon Usage:

His weapon is very similar to the pole he once used to form glass, the staff itself a sturdy but hollow metal and the blade itself is light. It is similar to the metal pole and glass combination he used to shape the glass as a somebody just with a difference in weight. Demitri is able to use his weapon with ease since he’s become accustomed to such a thing. He is not heavily reliant upon his weapon and only uses it when his element and magic fail on him.

Yes! Using a weapon that relates to the ability! Perfect! Perfect! Perfect!

World Of Origin/Home-world:
Twilight Town
Age (The one they appear)
23
Age (As a nobody)
2

Physical Description:
Tall, lean athletic build with a pale complexion. He’s got a small scar up on his left eyebrow and like his somebody his eyes and hair a cyan blue. On his right shoulder to his shoulder blade he’s got a white and blue ink wing tattoo. His hair is in a short kind of pixie cut.

Height:
Six ft Four in
Weight:
177 lbs

Personality:
Demitri’s somebody was a man of few words and one to place all his focus into the task at hand. When he does converse with people he is straight forward but he’s polite about it. He is one who is able to remain calm in most situations. Despite his calm and quiet demeanor he is one to over think things and often question why he needs to do such things.

Somebody:
Demitri Palmieri


Gender:
Male
Orientation:
Straight

Past History/Bio:
Demitri Palmieri was a normal kid in Twilight town, he was about average in his studies although he tended to favor History and the arts more. Since he was younger Demitri always was enthralled by Glass and the things that could be made from it. After he began to take more art classes his love of glass grew during a small project on creating a stain glass tile and he set a goal to learn how to create the glass pieces he admired. After some time and many trials he managed to become apprenticed under a local glass smith at the age of 15. For a few years everything was fine and he was able to work his way up and gain a job at the company as one of the smiths although he is far from a master. He also became a man of habit and one to always take the same route home, so he was aware of the rise in heartless but still remained set in his ways. After a month the route became impassible and he decided to take a different way home to avoid the waiting danger. He made it halfway to his destination when he realized that the supposed safer route was even worse than his usual one. Demitri continued to walk attempting to suppress the slight feeling of fear he had, however it proved to be pointless. One shadow appeared behind him and he quickened his pace in hopes of finding a weapon. Before the heartless struck he managed to eye a weapon, however his reflexes were to slow and in a matter of seconds his heart was claimed.

Whoah! Complete 180 with the bio! I do like this one. It’s possible to expand and make it interesting (and remember to use the enter key every once in a while XD). But you can write the history for yourself so you understand your characters motivations. This is like a bare backbone as I see it now. But, that’s what character bios like this are about. You don’t need a complete history. Just the basics. Though, you are missing family, friends, how they get along with them, thing like that. 

Current Bio:
He eventually learned the use of corridors and decided to travel a bit, after a few chance meetings he met one of his later to be Superiors and decided to help her in her ideal.

Theme Song:
“Flaws” Bastille

(This is used in the group so if you guys want to ignore it you can)
Statistics/Stats:
Hp: 20/20
Mp: 16/20
Atk: 17/20
Def: 17/20
Spd: 15/20
Dex: 17/20
Str: 8/20
Stm: 20/20
———-
Element Attack: 6/10
Element Def: 8/10
Element Control: 6/10
Weapon Control: 10/10

I never understand how those stat things work anyhow. xD

ANYWAY! You’ve made a HUGE improvement! There are still things you can add to make the character interesting. Don’t forget flaws and drawbacks and major worries (OMG I lost my Heart, how am I going to go back to the way things were before? BUT LOOK! I CAN BE A GLASS-BLOWING MASTER NOW!). Research some character development tips! We have a ton in our Character Development tag and our relevant tag. For fun, you can do those little character development memes if you just want to expand your OC for yourself. 

-MK

posted 2 weeks ago @ 05 Oct 2014 with 4 notes
xcritique xsubmission xthis is MK

Bio

Full name : Fenrir

A fenrir is a mythical beast that stems from Norse mythology, which originates from the Northern Germanic people. Chances are that isn’t going to be a name used for your lovely character here. There is slight use of Norse mythos in Kingdom Hearts, the enemy Ragnarok for instance is a figure that participates in the ultimate final battle that distinguished stuff about mortals and some sort of chain of being. But this is like a middle finger the the canon dynamic, by giving your character the name Fenrir, you’re implying that a lot of the esteem and respect should follow. I can’t explain how wrong this is without dragging this on extensively more. You’re giving your character this huge antagonist disposition because of the way Kingdom Hearts has weaved in Norse mythos. Try something more suited to the culture and lore within the world and universe you’re setting your character in.

Age : 18 (immortal)

You’re kidding right?

Species : Demi-God

Back up, you say later on that you’re the child of two gods. Demi-gods are the offspring of a human and a god, or a mortal who has attained divine status after death. This darling doesn’t fit into either of those categories. This is something you should avoid, few entities reach anything beyond mortal so factor this in when making huge choices like this.

Gender : Male

Born at : Olympus Colliseum.

Your name is completely out of context and is now a culture-fuck because of the origin of your character. For the love of Xemnas’ eyebrow wiggling do not give a character a name that isn’t from their culture. You done diddly jumped from Norse mythos to Greek mythos.

Let alone the implications your making by saying he lives in Olympus. Just why.

Make sure you have a full understand of the world and the lore that comes with it. You could easily weave this character into a place like Land of Dragons as long as they don’t tether with canon and remove a rather large chunk of their history. This character can be changed and molded into something great but you’re putting this character into a kinda flimsy and hollow placement.

Lives at : Where ever he wants

Within Olympus? Alright, I can understand how that may work. I get that Kingdom Hearts characters, moreover OC’s like to explore and find new things, all of that generic good stuff. If he has a good selection of provisions and has the correct skill set there isn’t any huge problems with this. Just make sure things challenge this bloke and he does encounter things that inhibit progress or hinder his progress throughout his journey.

Life Story

Fenrir is the son of the god of the Underworld Hades and his wife Persephone. When he was 18, he tried to sneak into the Olymp and cause chaos, he was, however, caught by the father of the god Zeus. Zeus cursed him with an immortal life,which Fenrir first gladly accepted. But Zeus also took all his emotions and feelings from him and thus making Fenrirs immortal life to living hell for him. 100 years later, Fenrir offered Zeus a deal. He would fight a champion chosen by Zeus. If he was lose the fight, he’d go to Tartarus, the deepest depth of the Underworld where terrifying creatures are kept. But if he was to win, he’d get all his emotions back. Zeus agreed with one condition though: If he gets back his emotions, he will be mortal again and Zeus will hunt him. Fenrir accepted. He fought Herkules and he won. But Zeus tricked him. Fenrir will get his emotions back once he finds true love and happiness, and then, when he is happy with his girlfriend/wife he will be mortal and Zeus will hunt him down.

Zeus would not lie. He is a keeper of oaths he makes. His punishments would not involve prolonged life, that is more of a reward in contrast to the other punishments he has inflicted, you would more than likely get something like: eternal torture, tied to a fiery wheel for eternity, blinded and send to the Harpies so they could plague you or something of the sort. Also, I can’t see Zeus as the type to conduct fights in the way you’re implying here, you’ve changed Zeus from a figure of strength, courage, and justice to this somewhat diabolical god. You’re bending a lot of things for your character to be even remotely plausible. Like a black hole effect. Perhaps try other OC’s as friends, that way you’re not making incredibly risky moves?

Familie and Friends

Parents : Hades and Persephone

You’re going against mass amounts of history. If you did exist chances are if Hades were to learn you existed he would rend your flesh.

Siblings : plenty because gods aren’t very faithful to their realationship xD

While this is true in some instances you are implying that all gods commit these types of acts and that just isn’t true so quit while you’re ahead. Please. I beg of you.

Best friends : none

Friends : Zack, Auron, Terra

None of these people would look kindly on you. Auron doesn’t have a pleasant relationship with Hades and going by your behavior he wouldn’t be too fond of you.

Lets do the time warp again!

Terra varies from either being obsessed with one goal and will disregard everything else because he is under the influence of Xehanort, or he is righteous, and if you weave in the storyline part in which he was in Olympus he would be more toward the path of righteousness. Zack wouldn’t befriend the son of Hades. Zack much like Terra is on the side of righteousness and despite your claims of being otherwise it’s clear where your standing is.

Dislikes : Zeus, Herkules

I can smell the anguished screams from here.

Crush : no one … but hopefully he will have a girlfriend ^^

Kingdom Hearts Information

Affiliation: he doesn’t really care xD

If you go against Hades, your father, he would rend your flesh without hesitation.

Weapon : His sword

Shadow and Fire magic

Shapeshifter → Wolf

About him/her

Personality :

Void of any emotions

used to be troublesome

used to be mischevious

used to be a major flirt

Why list past traits here? Shouldn’t this come under his biography? Herpa Derp derp? These are fine, but aren’t things listed here meant to be present tense?

he has a green thumb due his mothers powers

How is this part of his personality? Lovely funfact but I don’t think it should be placed here.

Likes :

Fighting

Work with plants

I feel like this is just a lucky dip trait. If he is void of emotions wouldn’t he have little or no regard for anything? Of course you can have morals and ethics but living in the underworld wouldn’t there be no plants? Or at least access to the things they need to grow, like sunlight.

Dislikes :

The gods aside from his mother and Father

Herkules

-Hobbies :

Fighting

Reading

Working in a garden

-Fears :

nothing since he is not able to feel anything at all aside from true love

So you can feel hate, dislikement and have personal tastes but can’t fear anything? I call bullshit.

-Ambition/Long-Life Dream :

Find his true love and break the curse

This shouldn’t exist. Thank you for shit staining the KH fandom even more with your character. I don’t know precisely what I’m feeling but I can assure you that it is highly negative. Please just scrap this design.

I really can’t process the full extent of how wrong this is. Eugh.

(You can post this but it’s probably not good enough to compare to the sheer fabulousity of your normal critiques.)

posted 2 weeks ago @ 04 Oct 2014 with 3 notes
xwhat the fuck xsubmission
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