((Uh Hello, Here is my OC, uh please Critique it however you see fit))
Age: around 19 at the most
Appearance: Auburn hair set in two low twin tails, tied with Rose pink hair ties, brown eyes, face lightly dusted with freckles, around maybe 5”3’, clothing wise, she has on a rose off the shoulder long shirt with bell sleeves, white fingerless gloves, white capris with embroidered lilacs on the leg going up, and beige loafers.
I’m not sure about the clothes being suitable for battle. Then again, I feel like a visual might be easier for me to understand. “Loafers” don’t sound like shoes I want to run around and fight in, you know?
Weapon: Keyblade by the name of Lilac Beauty, the shaft of the blade is spring green with lilac flowers going up it to the teeth of the key which is a lilac bush, the hilt is a circle of flowers, the chain is a lilac silk chain leading to a lilac.
Backstory: Set 20 years after the main story, Abril is trained under the keyblade master Kairi, who has given her, her blade, While under her tutelage, she is learning what it means to be a keyblade wielder and master, learning about the balance in the worlds, and how it will affect the bigger picture
I understand how she has a Keyblade. But why did Kairi pick her? What did she see in her? How did she prove her worth?
I also want to know more about her family and life in her town before Kairi found her.
Personality: Abril is snarky, always one to bite back at anything she feels is wrong, more open to showing herself to others, its also one of her major flaws, getting her into more trouble than its worth, but deep inside she’s a good girl, just not knowing where to stick her nose
Home World: Lilac Falls, A smalltown USA kinda world where everyone knows everyone, but that’s only skin deep, everyone has a secrect, more so than others.
Abilities: Abril focuses mostly on long range and magic attacks, rarely going in the front lines, mostly due to being taught by Kairi.
((Here you go, and if anyone wants to draw her they can))
Overall, the character seems more underdeveloped than anything. What you have is good. Just needs more information and more thought put into it. The character isn’t bad. Just work on developing her more.
Name: Shuya Ikari
Natural Hair color: orange
Eye color: obsidian
Um, well, technically every character’s homeworld can be “Earth.” Well, maybe not every, but a good majority.
Type of character: Heart of Fire
Biography: Shuya is from a clan that protected and guarded the legendary blade Muramasa. He live with his mother and father and little sister. It was foretold that someone from within the clan would be the one to be able to wield Muramasa with out their heart being corrupted by it’s demonic power. Shuya trained with his little sister Alicia hoping to be the one to wield it’s power to protect those he deemed precious. Years went by as he and his little sister Alicia grew. Shuya was a prodigy at the sword while his little sister had become skilled in hand to hand combat. Everything was peaceful, but little did they know Destiny was about to come knocking….. very, very hard.
Of course, he’s the chosen one. He also gets a Keyblade!! … How did he get a Keyblade, though?
Family: Alicia Ikari(Sister) Peashy(Self proclaimed daughter)
Occupation: Guardian of the cursed sword Muramasa
Skills: He is a master with the sword.
Magic: Fire, Omnislash, Octoslash
Aren’t those Sephiroth moves?
Weaknesses: His little sister
Personality: A kind boy with the spirit of an honorable warrior. He will use his swordsmanship to protect those dear to him.
Oh, look, a human!Heartless that turns into a giant monster Heartless
I really hate these “I’m really old” ages. It’s like, what? Are you guys fighting to see who’s older?Nobody actually WANTS to be that old. It would be super boring.BESIDES. Heartless aren’t that old. It’s kind of been a thing since the first Keyblade War. I think that’s it.
Then why label your gender as “male” when you really aren’t ANY gender? SHAPE SHIFTER!!!
Wait, wait, wait! Being a Heartless, you can’t ACTUALLY wield a Keyblade! It’s the one thing that destroys you! it’s the thing you fear the most!
Oh, god, no….
Of course you did, you boring, OP character.
All I hear is “I’m selfish. I’m bad. I’m evil. Nobody should like me, not even my allies”
ɪ wɪsн yѳu’d cαℓℓ мε…
…. Why would anyone think that was a bad thing?
No, no, no. You’re born in a world. You have the tendencies of those civilians. You don’t know about world travel.
Ah, of course, the “my parents hate me because I’m different” trope.
That is NOT how you get a Keyblade.
No, no, no. World Travel ISN’T possible. Ugh. And, if it was that easy, his parents would have left like they wanted to.
You don’t sound like an annoying fangirl
Um… Cheshire cat? That doesn’t fit in the Savannah.
Why does everyone associate Ninja and Land of the Dragons? Ninjas are from Japan, not China.
Why does everyone make these unnecessary world appearances? Sora doesn’t change with EVERY world he goes to. Just some of them.
Zexion, I’m pretty sure, is asexual. He just cares about science and being an asshole.
She’s a Princess of Heart, btw
AH HAHAHAHA! Why do people think it’s okay to make characters that are impossibly old? It’s like, “Yes, I’m a god, bow to me.”
That doesn’t sound OP at all. Nope.
You cannot be from the End of the World. It only showed up when all the worlds started disappearing.
Oh Lord, they ARE gods.
If you’re a… whatever you are, I’m sure you can asexually reproduce.
Why, though? Why just him?
How did he become a Keyblade wielder? Someone became his master?
Just because you put a black and white filter on a picture, doesn’t make it fit into Timeless River.
ɪ wɪsн yѳu’d cαℓℓ мε…
What an interesting name. /sarcasm
I see a god-type character in your future
Look how OP!
Wait… are the Heartless considered his children? Ha… haha… HAHAHAHA
Ugh. God-type character indeed.
Because you don’t do that, right?
I monitor this KH RPing community, and I’m looking through the profiles and I find this—
Age: Same as Mordecai, but a year younger than he is
Race: Blue jay
Place of origin: Regular show universe
Partners in combat: Mordecai and Rigby
Relationship (single, married, or in a relationship): In a relationship with Mordecai
Bio: In the Rage against the TV episode, Roxy is abducted by The Hammer, Mordecai sets off to save her. She has a nasty run-in with Pete when she goes to check up on Mordecai and Rigby.
Hair: Jet black
Eyes: Navy Blue
Keyblades: Dark Rose and Imperia
Origin: Aqua and Yuta Okimoto
Partners: Zyna Crown and Nil Linx
Homeword: World That Never Was
Your OC is so original, it totally doesn’t look like Roxas in green
Oh, dear lord, I have…
lol that’s not a bio
It’s impossible to be friends with Vanitas!
Sora meets paige! for a moment, pretend I’m not Paige because it’s weird saying he met me.
She literally recolored over someone’s MMD work
No, no, no! She recolored over a DDD screen shot! But it’s the scene where Sora grabs for Roxas, but he turns and faces him as Xion and Sora’s like “da fuq? Wait, I know you… ” (pretty sure that’s what happens… i need to play it again )
[ Loxias Azazel]
「Favorite Spell」» Thunder
「Back-Up Weapon」» Magic
「Alliance」» The good guys
「Witty」 - 「Sarcastic」 - 「Philosophical」 - 「Reckless」 - 「Happy go lucky」
He is a demigod, to be more specific, he is a son of Hecate(the goddess of magic.) His father was originally from Radiant Garden, but he had connections in many places including the Disney castle.
If you’re going to be a demigod, you’re going to be from Olympus and you’re going to like it because that’s the only world that being a demigod fits into. Unless you make yourself a Percy Jackson world, it ain’t gonna work.
ALSO THERE IS NO WORLD TRAVEL. UGH.
He took Loxias to Flowers and Beach when he was little after hearing about trouble happening to the worlds. There he opened a cafe that had a number of odd visitors.(Namely Eos, Nox, and Selene.) Despite this he was often away on ‘business trips, leaving Loxias to his own devices.
When he was young, he came into contact with an incredibly dark entity, this entity marked him in some way that, so far, no one his father brought him to has been able to figure out. He took no notice of it, but he can still ‘feel’ it sometimes.
demigod, marked by a dark creature, and has a Keyblade. Of course.
About a week before the world fell, he had a dream about his mom, who showed him the way to the keyblade and a stone that was colored yellow and red in his dive into the heart (those stain glass platforms).
No, no, no, no. That’s not how you get a Keyblade.
He didn’t acknowledge it as anything but another odd dream until he summoned the keyblade during a fight with a large monster when his world was falling into darkness.
"Why do I find this place so… Familiar? Like I’ve been here before, and sat here so many times…" Blaze thought to herself, as she watched the never-ending sunset of the quiet town, occasionally hearing a train go by in the distance.
Find your own chill-out spot. Everyone and their mother uses the clock tower as a place to relax. Be creative and find somewhere else.
It’s been two months since I last submitted something and all I could come up with was this? *smacks self, Gibbs-style* (anyone who watches NCIS will get that)
But seriously, you try finding a good picture of Twilight Town from the view of the clock tower. I couldn’t, so I just used a pic of Twilight Town behind the clock tower. I just used one side that looked like it could be part of the side view, and cropped most of the pic (specifically the bottom of the base that was used).
You mean, you couldn’t find a base for it.
But I have to say, I like how it came out.
Anyway, this is just a pic of Blaze looking over Twilight Town. And no, she is not a Nobody. She’s supposed to be a Heartless (kinda like Ansem, the “Seeker of Darkness”). She’s a member of a group of Heartless that’s kinda like Organization XIII, called Syndicate XIV.
But anyway… Yeah. Hope ya like it.
We’ve talked about why being a humanoid!heartless isn’t a good idea.