Full name : Fenrir
A fenrir is a mythical beast that stems from Norse mythology, which originates from the Northern Germanic people. Chances are that isn’t going to be a name used for your lovely character here. There is slight use of Norse mythos in Kingdom Hearts, the enemy Ragnarok for instance is a figure that participates in the ultimate final battle that distinguished stuff about mortals and some sort of chain of being. But this is like a middle finger the the canon dynamic, by giving your character the name Fenrir, you’re implying that a lot of the esteem and respect should follow. I can’t explain how wrong this is without dragging this on extensively more. You’re giving your character this huge antagonist disposition because of the way Kingdom Hearts has weaved in Norse mythos. Try something more suited to the culture and lore within the world and universe you’re setting your character in.
Age : 18 (immortal)
You’re kidding right?
Species : Demi-God
Back up, you say later on that you’re the child of two gods. Demi-gods are the offspring of a human and a god, or a mortal who has attained divine status after death. This darling doesn’t fit into either of those categories. This is something you should avoid, few entities reach anything beyond mortal so factor this in when making huge choices like this.
Gender : Male
Born at : Olympus Colliseum.
Your name is completely out of context and is now a culture-fuck because of the origin of your character. For the love of Xemnas’ eyebrow wiggling do not give a character a name that isn’t from their culture. You done diddly jumped from Norse mythos to Greek mythos.
Let alone the implications your making by saying he lives in Olympus. Just why.
Make sure you have a full understand of the world and the lore that comes with it. You could easily weave this character into a place like Land of Dragons as long as they don’t tether with canon and remove a rather large chunk of their history. This character can be changed and molded into something great but you’re putting this character into a kinda flimsy and hollow placement.
Lives at : Where ever he wants
Within Olympus? Alright, I can understand how that may work. I get that Kingdom Hearts characters, moreover OC’s like to explore and find new things, all of that generic good stuff. If he has a good selection of provisions and has the correct skill set there isn’t any huge problems with this. Just make sure things challenge this bloke and he does encounter things that inhibit progress or hinder his progress throughout his journey.
Fenrir is the son of the god of the Underworld Hades and his wife Persephone. When he was 18, he tried to sneak into the Olymp and cause chaos, he was, however, caught by the father of the god Zeus. Zeus cursed him with an immortal life,which Fenrir first gladly accepted. But Zeus also took all his emotions and feelings from him and thus making Fenrirs immortal life to living hell for him. 100 years later, Fenrir offered Zeus a deal. He would fight a champion chosen by Zeus. If he was lose the fight, he’d go to Tartarus, the deepest depth of the Underworld where terrifying creatures are kept. But if he was to win, he’d get all his emotions back. Zeus agreed with one condition though: If he gets back his emotions, he will be mortal again and Zeus will hunt him. Fenrir accepted. He fought Herkules and he won. But Zeus tricked him. Fenrir will get his emotions back once he finds true love and happiness, and then, when he is happy with his girlfriend/wife he will be mortal and Zeus will hunt him down.
Zeus would not lie. He is a keeper of oaths he makes. His punishments would not involve prolonged life, that is more of a reward in contrast to the other punishments he has inflicted, you would more than likely get something like: eternal torture, tied to a fiery wheel for eternity, blinded and send to the Harpies so they could plague you or something of the sort. Also, I can’t see Zeus as the type to conduct fights in the way you’re implying here, you’ve changed Zeus from a figure of strength, courage, and justice to this somewhat diabolical god. You’re bending a lot of things for your character to be even remotely plausible. Like a black hole effect. Perhaps try other OC’s as friends, that way you’re not making incredibly risky moves?
Familie and Friends
Parents : Hades and Persephone
You’re going against mass amounts of history. If you did exist chances are if Hades were to learn you existed he would rend your flesh.
Siblings : plenty because gods aren’t very faithful to their realationship xD
While this is true in some instances you are implying that all gods commit these types of acts and that just isn’t true so quit while you’re ahead. Please. I beg of you.
Best friends : none
Friends : Zack, Auron, Terra
None of these people would look kindly on you. Auron doesn’t have a pleasant relationship with Hades and going by your behavior he wouldn’t be too fond of you.
Lets do the time warp again!
Terra varies from either being obsessed with one goal and will disregard everything else because he is under the influence of Xehanort, or he is righteous, and if you weave in the storyline part in which he was in Olympus he would be more toward the path of righteousness. Zack wouldn’t befriend the son of Hades. Zack much like Terra is on the side of righteousness and despite your claims of being otherwise it’s clear where your standing is.
Dislikes : Zeus, Herkules
I can smell the anguished screams from here.
Crush : no one … but hopefully he will have a girlfriend ^^
Kingdom Hearts Information
Affiliation: he doesn’t really care xD
If you go against Hades, your father, he would rend your flesh without hesitation.
Weapon : His sword
Shadow and Fire magic
Shapeshifter → Wolf
Void of any emotions
used to be troublesome
used to be mischevious
used to be a major flirt
Why list past traits here? Shouldn’t this come under his biography? Herpa Derp derp? These are fine, but aren’t things listed here meant to be present tense?
he has a green thumb due his mothers powers
How is this part of his personality? Lovely funfact but I don’t think it should be placed here.
Work with plants
I feel like this is just a lucky dip trait. If he is void of emotions wouldn’t he have little or no regard for anything? Of course you can have morals and ethics but living in the underworld wouldn’t there be no plants? Or at least access to the things they need to grow, like sunlight.
The gods aside from his mother and Father
Working in a garden
nothing since he is not able to feel anything at all aside from true love
So you can feel hate, dislikement and have personal tastes but can’t fear anything? I call bullshit.
-Ambition/Long-Life Dream :
Find his true love and break the curse
This shouldn’t exist. Thank you for shit staining the KH fandom even more with your character. I don’t know precisely what I’m feeling but I can assure you that it is highly negative. Please just scrap this design.
I really can’t process the full extent of how wrong this is. Eugh.
(You can post this but it’s probably not good enough to compare to the sheer fabulousity of your normal critiques.)